Patriotic EX-Muslim American Baptizes Himself With Bacon & Beer

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In a patriotic act for the Fourth of July (2017), an EX-Muslim American-born man decided to prove his renunciation of Islam by pouring Coors Light over his head, rubbing bacon on his face, and consuming pork-based hot dogs, Slim Jim, honey-baked ham, pork rinds, and pepperoni pizza. “It’s not so bad, man,” he tells the camera while chomping on foods that are traditionally considered by Islam to be “unclean.”

“Be proud of your country, [and] shoutout to London that’s enduring attacks… Don’t be afraid of the cowards. You can never justify cowardly acts. Peace out, everyone.”

– EX-Muslim after baptizing himself in a sea of a beer and bacon.

That hijab begs to differ.

Islamic law dictates that the pig is an unclean animal and that the consumption thereof in any form is considered a sin against God, punishable by variable degrees based on the extent of Islamic totalitarianism of one’s particular context. Alcohol is viewed similarly.

American identity, however, is heavily saturated with fatty bacon and cheap beer, which has subtly contributed to the common belief that Islam and the United States are inherently at cultural odds with one another. The man in this video, however, has made a significant statement: U.S. > Islam.

The entire video is inarguably satirical, and it is unclear and nearly unprovable whether this man is actually a former Muslim. But it provides a good laugh for American patriots and those who acknowledge the foundational differences between the United States the Muslim religion that essentially makes the assimilation of the latter impossible.

I’m not sure how healthy bacon is in general, but I know it’s incredibly delicious.

– Gwyneth Paltrow

The radical foreign inclusion of Muslim refugees into the Western world has resulted in alarming cultural shifts. Autonomous Muslim neighborhoods wherein Sharia Law is permitted to be enforced in localities have begun to pop up even in the United States, resulting in the sudden increase of those drawn to the reactionary standpoint of the alt-right movement. Mass immigration has proven to be increasingly problematic for the Swedish populace:

It could be beneficial for more Muslims to undergo baptism with beer and bacon. Who knows? Rape rates could decrease, pedophilia and incest in Pakistan could be abolished, and democracy could be implemented in traditionally theocratic Muslim societies. Some societies are objectively better than others, and Islamic societies are at the bottom of the totem pole.