As all good progressive females know, in this modern enlightened age it’s more important then ever before to find yourself a culturally appropriate Halloween costume. But if you happen to be a white woman, you may want to take special care to avoid costumes that are separate from your culture, as to not seem insensitive to others. Another thing to add, is the fact that as a woman, this is your big day. Finally, you can let your inner thot shine through to all. Bellow, are a list of things you can do as a white woman to be both sexy and culturally appropriate.   

First of all, just because you like a Disney Princesses, doesn’t mean you should actually dress as one.

Most of them dress far too conservative to begin with. Characters like Jasmine, Tiana, Mulan, and Pocahontas, are not white. Instead, inspire your attire after ones like Snow White, Cinderella, Bell, Aurora, or my personal favorite, Rapunzel. More over, you can easily transform these old fashioned figures into the fanciest of garb. Suitable even, for the playboy mansion. Yes. Perfect, white, and of course, sexy. A good example of something that would NOT be allowed, is this. Why is this not okay you may ask? Because you, a female human, are not a mouse. Even though the friendly mice on your kids favorite TV show may appear white, and this costume is very sexy, they are actually not white. No, indeed, they are mice. Mice are obviously not human, and cannot properly communicate with us as to how they feel when we try to wear their species as a costume. Being a mouse is not a costume. This is not okay. 

Wear costumes that define the stereotype of your race only.

Ladies, if you admire someone who’s black, do not wear their skin as a costume. In fact, play it safe and don’t dress as them at all. It’s the same basic equivalent as wearing a noose around your neck, and chains around your wrists and ankles. A great alternative is the German Milkmaid. Plus, it’s very practical.  Oktoberfest was again, another moment to shine for all women, so recycle and reuse your old costume! If you are white, this is perfect. If you are actually German, this is even better. If you’re mixed race, but look mostly white, be sure to ask a pure blooded German woman if it’s okay to wear this as a costume. Don’t wanna hurt any feelings!  Be sure to bring some beer along as pictured above, this is culturally accurate. Are you trick or treating with your kids? Don’t worry, adults will get it. Including the heels and white stalkings is also a must. You’re still showing skin, but you’re being a tease about it. Tonight could be your night, a future full of wonderful white babies! Sounds exciting yes?

Sure! Dress as male politicians, but make sure they’re white. 

No no’s on this one are obviously men like Obama, Ben Carson, and Jesse Jackson. The God Emperor Trump is always a good go to. Nigel Farage is also very good, and you can’t go wrong with John McCain, he’s as white as a bare butt. The reason you as a woman, can dress as a man, is because of male privilege. Since the beginning of time, men have ruled the word and everything in it, including women. But now, it’s finally time for girls to rule the world! So you strut your stuff girl, you’re gonna look fabulous. 

Honestly, if you haven’t heard the sarcasm in this entire article, you’re probably an SJW. Dress as whatever you want, this is a free country. After all, isn’t the entire point of Halloween to have fun and dress up as something you’re not? So get out there, have fun, and God bless America.