Professor: ‘The Cat In The Hat’ Is Racist

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Step aside amateur warriors of social justice – we have a new heavyweight champion of nanny state politically correct douchebaggery.

According to his author biography, Philip Nel is a “Distinguished Professor of English at an American university with an ambiguous relationship to academic freedom.” To be legally prudent, he chose not to list that university, but suggests that “a Google search will quickly reveal which one.”

Thanks for that useful tip Mr. Nel, as if anyone gives a shit that you’re a shamelessly self-promoting educator and Deep-State operative who earns his living brainwashing the millennial population at Kansas State University.

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Mind you, this is a guy who maintains a public blog that immediately highlights his many ‘surprising’ accomplishments, like appearing on National Public Radio (which is naturally a truth-seeking and totally objective broadcast) before listing his agent information, as well as how to book him for speaking engagements.

Nel also reveals himself as an obvious pawn of the globalist propaganda agenda by showcasing his recent writing works, the last three of which include a commentary for stronger gun regulation, a column blaming President Trump for the sharp rise in school bullying, and a glowing review of an animated children’s story about refugees.

Although we’ve clearly seen similar leftist efforts in the past, Nel’s most recent contribution to the human race represents a complete and utter descent into uncharted virtue signaling. The book’s title: Was the Cat in the Hat Black? The Hidden Racism of Children’s Literature, and the Need for Diverse Books.

You read that right; this morally exceptional, free-thinking professor has made an astonishing academic break-through: Dr. Seuss was a bigot, and his delightful children’s stories were actually racist.

Now this may come as a surprise, especially if you’re like every other person on the face of the planet who innocently enjoyed this book in their youth. However, apparently those white gloves and extravagant top hat were secretly a nod to blackface minstrelsy, and readers should all be ashamed of themselves.

But that’s not all, as Nel’s list of racially charged children’s literature continues. There’s Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, which portrays Willy Wonka’s Oompa Loompas as happy slaves who were content to leave their native land and toil nonstop in a factory. Then of course we have Little House on the Prairie, which is “super racist in the way they present Native Americans,” as well as Pippi Longstocking, whose father travels to the South Seas to become “King of the Negros.” All of these books clearly leave lasting negative messages in children’s minds, thus causing harm when they were innocently meant to nurture.

According to Nel, these types of innuendos in literature represents a major concern for the household that needs to be addressed. And while he adds that he would “respect the parents who made that choice” to abstain from reading offensive classics to their children, there may be a silver lining for those who don’t:

If you’re reading a racist children’s book with a child, you can help them to read it critically, you can help them to learn that it’s okay to be angry at a book.”

Plus, he also adds some great talking points in speaking with your children about problematic books. Think of these tips more as socially acceptable, multicultural and bias-free parental guidance:

Add The History

If you’re reading racist children’s books with children, they have to be read in context. If it’s a book about slavery, explain the history in an age-appropriate way.”

Ask Critical Questions

For instance, “What would it be like to live in a factory and work all the time?

Point Out Missing Perspectives

You can ask, ‘Whose point of view is this story favoring? Who is it not favoring?’

Thanks for all the great moral instruction, Mr. Nel. The world really needs more ethically pure individuals like yourself to leverage their university prestige and globalist-granted platform to miseducate our youth and indoctrinate them early into the Orwellian dystopia of our future.

Now go fuck yourself.

  • tps

    I heard this on Andrew Klavan’s podcast and I thought he was joking and it was a parody. Holy crap batman, this is a real book? My God, where do these fools come from? And they are teaching YOUR kids. “Now go fuck yourself” is smarter than anything that appears in this guy’s thesis.